Makes You Stronger
Ecce
Homo, behold the man
from the lips of Pontius Pilate at
the trial of Jesus. Also,
the title of this book by the grand German
famous for proclaiming
that "god is dead," an obvious metaphor
unlike the chapter titles
"Why I Am So Wise." and
"Why I Am So Clever."
Published in this book after his untimely
death from syphilis which I imagined
he contracted from a prostitute
considering his recommendations regarding
the fairer sex.
His sister, badly in need of funds,
published these later ramblings.
obviously not at the top of his game.
An unfortunate bit of fate which
I was pondering while ordering
another White Russian,
thousands of miles in the air, on
a return flight from Germantown, Maryland
where I had installed a touch screen
Market Research data collection device at
an HMO healthcare clinic. Equipment,
much of which the miserly company president
insisted I lug through the airport in canvas bags
as carryon luggage, to avoid shipping cost. Ooddly,
after installing the device, just beginning the
staff presentation, I was stricken with
a profuse nosebleed, soaking the white dress
shirt, and purple tie. Bloodstains which now dried,
I stared at drunk and tired, as the airplane pilot,
walking down the isle, smiled and tipped his
cowboy hat at me. He wasnt a real cowboy,
but that didnt bug me, everyone needs a shtick.
My own was wearing thin;
Blood splattered Market Research secret poet
drunk and reading Neitzsche on an airplane.
I was worn then, really, really worn,
barely alive staring long into the void,
fighting monsters and walking tightropes.
I heard Captain Cowboys booming Hollywood voice.
We were coming in for a landing.
He called us "buckaroos"
and told us to all be kind to one another,
and to eat vegetables, or something like that.
And something about flying into the sunset.
It was all a little hazy by then.
I remember distinctly the feeling that
I was going to die
Not there, on that plane, in that moment,
but that before long, the times I was living in
the life I had somehow unreasoningly fallen into,
would kill me.
But it didnt. It didnt kill me No,
it didnt kill me at all,
and nothing else has since.
