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I was hanging
with these two chicks,
roommates,
both with baby daughters.
The first I possibly loved however
I dated the second
after she blew me off.
So this one night, a weeknight,
I’m asleep in bed when the phone rings.
It’s
number two,
and she is at this all night laundry matt.
luckily locked inside.
She could leave see, but there is
this guy
and he has his cock out, and I guess he is jacking off
up against this large glass window.
So she is trippin
out and stuff
Like she has never seen a cock before.
She says that number one, the roommate,
always calls me when
she needs help,
and could I come help.
So I grab my baseball bat BLACK JUSTICE,
jump in the Mitsubishi and drive
like a bat out of hell
or Batman in the Batmobile
or a guy with a bat or something.
When I arrive on the scene, I
jump out menacingly
The guy is already running away,
also like a bat out of hell.
So I shout really, really loud,
“GO
ON! KEEP RUNNING YA FUCKEN
JACKEN OFF COCK SHOWEN MOTHER FUCKER!!”
And he did so we went about our business.
You
know it’s kinda weird,
because later on down the line
when number one had moved on
and didn’t need
a superhero anymore,
number two and I dated, probably six or seven times.
Each time I wore my lucky black turtle neck
shirt
and we got goofy ass drunk on Zima at some club
and made out pretty hot and heavy.
however, she never gave
me the pussy
this was pretty disappointing considering,
but she did jack me off a couple of times.
Ironic, I suppose.
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