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I am mismatched sock.
I am broken
cup.
I am stolen dollar.
I am unchewed gum.
I am solitude sitting.
I am coffee brewing.
I am forever
looking.
I am, nevermind.
Autobio
I am leading my life from the kitchen
table
Watching the world pass by on its cloudy footsteps
Thru insincere manicured lawns
I know you understand.
I
am leading my life from the sad plains of Texas
With memories of snapping powdery bazooka Joe
Bubble gum until my jaw
hurt,
riding banana seat bicycles with cardboard in the spokes,
and in summer eating hot watermelon by the bare handful
that tasted like cotton candy melting in my mouth.
I am leading my life from the aisles of the bookstore
Paying
penance to the suffering ones before me,
With worn out dust jackets and spines cracked with love.
Waiting for my name
to be on one,desperately
Dangling from my toes into infinity,
Into another restless writers block day.
I am leading
my life from the picture of mother
Still alive and smiling in her green cotton dress
Sitting in a plaza in Mexico
City, with the reflection
Of hope in her gold rimmed bifocal glasses.
My fathers hands warm on her shoulders, and
Standing
a step behind as if he finally knew his destined space.
I am leading my life from the foot of her fresh grave
Staring
into the impossibilities she left me.
The lessons that were never taught, the love
That was never reciprocated.
I
am leading my life from half eaten suppers
Full ashtrays, and empty bottles of wine
Clicking computer keyboards and
an ever expanding
Yawn of questions that never get answered.
I am leading my life
I am leading my life
I am
leading my life
But Im too tired to follow.
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All head all squirreled up and smashed.
Hands clasped,
and all notions flying upward
away
away
into that blank sky you call home.
When you,
tilt your eyes so shining and see
faces familiar
to you from your dreams.
But I am
squashed up and shriveled in,
pink sun swirling madness in the clouds
you
call friends. When you
blow cotton kisses
sticky and sweet they
explode down at my feet
in rain drop tears.
I am frightened /fragmented
pulling puzzle pieces, stuffing them into
mattresses we once laid on.
You
are crisp /collected sending
fireworks like foolishness
glinting in your angel eyes
never sleeping,
never
breathing you
never sigh.
I catch your tic tac smile when the birds
are whirling unfurling in your hair
roots
deeply nourished
in your mind.
And the thorns are
heart breaking under my feet,
as I creep
to you
bright
shining
undaunted
untouchable.
you.
I wonder will you
hold your million kissed hand
one time
out to me
briefly
blessed
complete?
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