Jeremy Kleindl

pizza before bed

In this dream I had a man in the purple suit
said in a stately southern accent that I must
begin to live my life like an abstract painting as
seen on crumpled glossy magazine paper -
you know so the intent and statement is lost,
but beauty dances in the creases

I pondered the implications of the rapid
waving gestures he made with his felt hat
It had a mule kick and taco roll
it sung pride with a worn look of open range
living

I became distracted by a naked faceless
woman and when I turned back to ask him
what he meant he was gone and i noticed I
was wearing only my tighty whities and this
akwardly feminine watch that only had a
picture of a moose on it - no numbers - just
this hulking mass of fur and antlers

empathy.:first love

...and the faint beginnings of a smile rested at
the corners of her lips, the way her head was
tilted down while her eyes were peering up at
me, so much I wanted to say. They were
searing my throat, these still to be whispered
sweet nothings. I wanted to raise my hand
and gently lift her chin with my calloused
fingers, raise her face to mine, gently, and
travel to her soul through the tears welled
upon her eyelids, lean forward and with a kiss,
turn all her fears to dust, wipe them away from
her cheek, and brush my lips against her
eyelids for reassurance. Embrace her, then
with that embrace convey without words my
desire to not take away her pain, but help her
to get through it. Us. Together. But, instead I
stand with the early evenings dew between my
toes, not quite knowing what to do with my
hands...

shout softly...

...under halogen street lamps
late of night

teary streaks cascade

in a rainbow of serial
obligation
mat and mast
tell you ride
see your eye
buy the prize with skin credit
tattoo receipts seeing ink spill like rain
pain in a vein
sedgeway falsehood want\s good whats\
flowering chemical tombs
sway in ryder cargo hold
teens with guns and faith in violent content
wading wait
toe curl
cigarette blister finger prints
slap map with red marks

coaster circle condensation
on a nation from Tennessee to Kansas

Thats what he called me.
Dinner time philosophical discussions
explaining the difference between jerks and
idiots.

Idiots got no idea their lower on the food
chain, where as jerks make deliberate and not
well thought out decisions that place them at
the same sub-par level as your average idiot.

At least he thinks I have potential.

model student
They always wanted to know why
I would stare off into the walls
as they
told me about how wrong it was to
Beat my fist into other students
And cause distractions
By throwing
or kick
or gripping
or tearing
or biting

I always wanted to say to them
With their concerned looks
And their
Lack of understanding:
I am a nine year old 87 pound child
That has managed to manage everyone into
some sort
of reaction or judgmental conclusion
about my needs
or what would be best for me
to attune me to a normal membership in the
student body
you helpless hopeless educators have
no idea how easy it is for me to
supply the event that will
give me momentary freedom from
that which you insist
I be a part of

always was the need to have conformity
a senseless drive to medicate and educate
and
conform through measured performance
quotas
expectations
and standards
test me to see how I rate
percentage wise
to the average

the only thing I knew for certain
was if I whacked some kid in the head
I'd get a few days vacation
And more daytime television

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